‘Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.’
I am not blessed with confidence in any way, shape or form so when I saw Sara’s The Prompt this week I even doubted my confidence to write something!
I know that I can write, just as I know that I can produce a half-decent image from a photograph, but, convincing myself that something’s good enough is a rather difficult task.
The big question is: where does confidence come from? I’ve always believed it’s something you’re born with; in the same way that according to legend everyone is born with a talent, it’s just a matter of finding it.
Sure enough it’s possible to learn a skill that could be perceived as a talent, somewhere deep inside us we have a natural ability. It may not be obvious, or useful, or even desired but it is within us; I think confidence is the same.
Of course there are very many self-help books and Twitter life-coaches and Pinterest quotes that will try and convince me differently, and, that, little old mousey me can learn confidence skills…if only I read that book or retweeted or repinned! Even last week my own dad told me that I would gain confidence if only I lost 3 stones in weight (yes that’s having a supportive family for you!) He also thinks it would cure my vesibular migraines/possible fibromyalgia even though I was 3 dress sizes smaller when my symptoms started!
I had a severe lack of self-esteem and confidence when I was a young and fit and healthy size 10 so why the heck that’s going to make any difference now, I know not.
Yes, I’m overweight. Yes, I’m trying to do something about it. No, my migraine-preventing munchies-inducing medication isn’t helping. No, nor is having a dizzy spell 30 seconds into a treadmill walk! I don’t disagree that I’ll feel a bit better once I’ve lost a few pounds, but, if I had no confidence when the world was at my feet, how I’m I supposed to believe it will miraculously arrive when I can’t even travel 10 minutes from my front door without feeling motion sickness?!
While researching for this I did stumble across what actually looks (apart from all the spammy e-mails but it’s free advice so mustn’t grumble!) like quite a useful site. Called Skills You Need it seems to cover a wide range of personal development and may well be worth me spending some time on.
I wonder if when we tell people we’re bloggers that they believe we must be confident to throw our words out in to the world wide web. Personally I just find corresponding, conversing, and, conveying anything far easier on paper (or electronically) than face-to-face or voice-to-voice.
Nowadays I can blame my tinnitus as it is totally distracting when you’re trying to have a conversation but I’ve only had that for 3 years so it isn’t a root cause!
Confident. I’m not. Are you?